Today when I woke up I was coughing and sneezing. My throat felt scratchy, too.
"Oh, no," I thought out loud. "I hope I'm not getting a cold. I can't afford to get sick. It's Saturday.
Cody and I are riding our bikes. And then we're going to watch that monster movie at his house."
"Alex, why are you talking to yourself?" My sister, Madeline, was standing in my bedroom doorway.
I rubbed my eyes and, acting like I was just waking up, faked a yawn. Unfortunately, the yawn brought on another cough.
Madeline stuck her arms on her hips. She does that when she wants to look extra smart and important. "I said, why are you talking to yourself?" I sneezed. "Talking to myself?"
"Yes." I shook my head. "I wasn't. I'm hardly even awake." I stuck my pillow over my face to break another cough.
"Sounds to me like you have a cold," Madeline said. "I guess that means you'll have to stay home in bed all day."
I raised the pillow. "No," I croaked out. "I'm not getting a cold. I-"
"Yes, you are. And I'm going to tell Mom and Dad." She started to turn away.
"Well then you'll also have to do my Saturday chores," I said as loud as my scratchy throat would allow.
She turned back, a big frown on her round face. My Saturday chores this week were raking leaves from under the two big trees in our front yard and sweeping the walkway. Madeline hated doing that kind of stuff. "Well, I bet you won't be able to fool Mom and Dad," she said. "But because I'm such a nice sister I won't say anything." She flounced out of the room.
I grinned. Then I sneezed.
Maybe a warm shower would help.
And it did for awhile.
Then I ate a banana and drank an extra glass of orange juice both for the vitamins and because I wanted to show my parents how good I felt. When a cough welled in my throat I pretended I'd swallowed juice down the wrong pipe. Thank goodness Mom and Dad had already eaten and were busy with other stuff. Otherwise, I'm sure they would have caught on.
I rushed to the bathroom, splashed water on my face, and left the water running while I coughed and sneezed. I refuse to be sick, I told myself. I brushed my teeth and hurried outside to do my chores. By the time I was done raking I was coughing and sneezing up a storm.
Madeline came by and told me she'd finished her chore, vacuuming, and was heading over to Amanda's.
"Have fun," I said grumpily.
"You should go back to bed," she told me.
I glared at her. "No, the fresh air's making me better."
"If you say so."
When she was gone I blew my nose on one of the dozen tissues I had stuffed in my pockets.
I began sweeping the walk. I sneezed into another tissue, and a shadow fell over my shoulder. Oh, oh, I thought. Madeline again, or worse, maybe Mom or Dad.
"You sound like you're dying," said a voice.
I lifted my head and saw my friend, Cody, through my teary eyes. "ACHOO!" I sneezed. "Hi," I mumbled.
"Man," Cody said. "What are you doing out here? You should be in bed."
"Can't. We're riding bikes and watching that movie. Remember?"
"Then you better get rid of that disease you've got."
"It's not a disease. It's just a little - ACHOO! A little cold."
"Well if we're going to have fun today you better get rid of it."
"But how?" I asked. "I took a warm shower. I ate a banana. I drank two glasses of orange juice. And now I'm getting exercise."
"Hmm." Cody scratched his chin, and I knew he was about to suggest something weird. All his solutions to problems are weird. "Got it," he finally said. "Why don't you sell it?"
"Sell it?" I blinked, covered a cough and shook my head. That was even weirder than I'd expected.
"What are you shaking your head for?" Cody asked.
"Because your idea... It's weird."
"How do you know?" Cody asked. "Have you tried it?"
"Well no, but... Who would want to buy a cold?"
"I don't know. Maybe someone who never had one before. Maybe a person who wanted to try out something new."
"Weird," I said. "Real weird."
"We could make a big sign," Cody continued. "We'd sit out by the road and offer a good deal. Three for the price of one."
I sneezed. "Three what for the price of one?"
"Sneezes, coughs and a sore throat. You do have a sore throat, don't you?"
"Well, yeah, kind of. But not too bad, or I wouldn't be able to talk."
"Then that's perfect. It would be a lot harder to sell your three for one deal if you couldn't tell people about it."
"Real, real weird," I said. I began to sweep again.
"Oh, come on, Alex. You've swept the walk enough. Let's make a big sign. And some fliers."
"Fliers?" I set the rake aside, sank to the ground, pulled out another tissue and blew my nose.
"Yeah. Papers advertising the great deal you have."
"Nobody's going to buy a cold," I said. "And even if someone did want to buy one, I'd still have mine. Then there'd just be two sick people."
"You have no sense of positive thinking," Cody complained. "Now, what do you think we should charge?"
I coughed.
"We don't want to overprice it," Cody said. "Then we'd never sell it."
"Weird and weirder," I said.
"Okay," Cody said, "how about if we just give it away. People always want something for nothing."
"Well," I said, my voice cracking, "what I want is a drink of water." I stood up, shook my woozy head, and headed for the house.
"Can I have a drink, too?" Cody asked.
"Sure. But not out of my cup."
We both filled glasses at the kitchen sink. Then I began to cough and sneeze again.
"Alex, you don't sound so good." It was Mom.
"Oh, I'm okay," I croaked.
"He has a cold," Cody put in. "But don't worry. We've got things all planned. Right, Alex?"
I nodded. Then I sneezed, blew my nose and coughed.
"Well, boys," said Mom, "I think your plan will have to wait." She placed a hand against my forehead. "You’re warm. I think you better go to bed."
"Aw, Mom," I said, but I knew she was right.
Two days later I felt fine. Just in time for Monday school.
And the following Saturday Cody had the cold. I talked to him on the phone a moment and reminded him of his cold solutions. But he only coughed, and told me he had a better idea.
"What's that?" I asked.
"I'm going to bed."
Oh well, I thought, hanging up. I guess the monster movie can wait until next weekend. I crossed my fingers. Just so the monster didn't get a cold.
